Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Ex-Factor

The last couple of weeks have been a little difficult for me.Not because I moved into my own apartment or the new found freedom that I love.I should be living the life of single 25 year old without any problems or cares.My problem is my ex.Let's call him Matt(First name to pop in my head). Everyone looks at this issue differently. Right now I am in the middle on this issue.One part of me wants to believe that yes we can be friends.The other part of me doesn't want anything to do with him.I have asked myself all these questions and I still have no answer.Our relationship wasn't perfect but who has a perfect relationship.I still put alot into it.Our break up was sudden but it needed to happen.He was the one person that I thought I could trust the most.Ha he showed me.I keep asking myself why now?As soon as I thought I was over us he comes back in the picture. Why are you back now? How am I suppose to know if you have really changed?No I don't want to go back to what we ended being.I don't want to hate a person that I once loved so much.Sometimes I find myself hating Matt more than I thought I could.Wishing that I had never met him.But then I see a small piece of the person I grew to love.So now I am left with the question are all ex's meant to be left in the past? Can you have a successful friendship with your ex? Lauryn Hill said it best in her song Ex-Factor.My favorite line of the songs says you let go and I'll let go to/cause no ones hurt me more than you/and no one ever will.Love that song.But I guess time will tell what will happen between Matt and I.

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