Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Who Defines Beauty?

So last night I decided that I would go out with my good friend Music Junkie.I hardly ever go out with him when his friends are involved.We don't really mix all that well.But that is not the point.Conversation was good for the most part until I was asked why I am going natural.I told them my reasons and that it gives me a sense of freedom.I don't have to worry about keeping up with a relaxer and all that comes along with having straight hair.Out of no where one of the loud mouths said who would think having natural hair was beautiful.I was instantly irritated with him.Maybe because I don't care for him as a person had something to do with that.I asked him who's standard of beauty was he talking about.So the debate began.I was not backing down on my point and he was not backing down on his.I said that to ask the question who defines beauty?I just heard a lady say that being beautiful should be a full time job because looks mean everything.We as people put way to much into how we look and what we have on.Not enough into our families and education.I am guilty of being a part of this crowd as well.But it comes a point when you realize that my looks are not going to get me anything in the real world.It is not going to get me a job unless that is the business I am going into.It is not going to pay my bills or feed me when I am hungry.I am beautiful but my attitude is horrible.Having a bad attitude makes some the most beautiful people look so ugly.We need to change the way we think.Beauty does not define who you are as a person.Stop focusing so much on how a person looks and focus on what they are like on the inside.I know some people might say that I have never had a problem with the way I look.But no matter how you look someone will find something wrong with you.Look on the inside of a person before you start to judge them.My natural hair does not define me as a person.It is just a part of who I am at this point in my life and it is a beautiful thing.I will end this with a quote from the actress Salma Hayek.
"People often say that 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder,' and I say that the most liberating thing about beauty is realizing that you are the beholder. This empowers us to find beauty in places where others have not dared to look, including inside ourselves. "
Peace and Love!

Monday, June 14, 2010

Early Father's Day

I know that father's day is not until Sunday but who knows if I am going to get this posted before then.So I am going to post it today while I have it on my mind.Up until a few years ago my father had not been involved in my life.He made the decision to do other things instead of being a father.It use to really bother me that he wasn't around but one day I realized that I have been blessed with some really awesome men in my life.They were always around when I needed them to be.None of them are the same and that is what makes them great.That is what makes them special in their own way.I may not talk to them everyday but if I ever needed them they would be there for me.They would protect me from all the things that would cause harm.So yes I have been blessed with some really awesome father figures in my life.I have great brother in laws Dave and Aj(He will always be my brother in law)that have been around since I was a kid.Even though I didn't have a long relationship with my Uncle Brother he made a big impact on me.He was strong and really didn't care what people thought.He was who he was.I wish that we had more time together.My favorite memory of him is when I got into a fight at school and they had to call him.He talked to the Dean and said he would handle the situation when I got home.When I got home he called and asked what happened.His only questions was did you win the fight?I said yeah Uncle Brother I won.He replied ok then cause if you didn't I was going to come whip you and then he just hung up.Then it is the others that will always be close to my heart.Dwight(I am his Baby Bird lol) and my Uncle Robert.Two no nonsense kind of guys.But this year I am going to do something different.I am going to buy a father's day card for the first time in my life.I know my relationship with my father as a long way to go but he is trying.Most of the time I don't think he knows what to say to me but he still calls to check on me.When I go home to visit he comes and visits.I always say maybe he wouldn't have been a good father back then and now he has something to offer as a father.At least he is trying.The funny thing is I never hated him.I always loved him.He always held a special place in my heart.Happy Father's Day!

*I have something very special that I am going to write about soon.I have been waiting for this for a long time.Some people may not understand why I am so happy but I just feel so blessed right now.I can not wait to share the news!
Peace and Love!

Wednesday, June 9, 2010



I love his work.Hopefully I get to see him at the Urban International Festival next weekend.

My Two Cents

I told myself I wasn't going to comment on this but here I am giving my two cents.Yesterday I read the article on Vibe with Slim Thug.People are outraged by what he said in the article.I am not outraged by what he said because he was not talking about me and he was speaking from his experiences.I had to agree with some of the things he said.Yes I am a Slim Thug fan but if I felt he was wrong I would say so.Now I know some people are not going to agree with what I am about to say but I don't really care lol.I don't think he was degrading the black women and uplifting white women.As a black person I must say that yes we have a lot of problems that we need to work out on our own before attempting to go into a relationship.I say person because our black men have some things they need to work on as well.I read through some of the comments at the end of the article and it was horrible.Most of the comments were coming black women.Let me say that they didn't help the case at all.If you are going to comment on uplifting the black woman than do you think it is a good idea to call this man out of his name and talk about his mama?Talk about the other people commenting?You are playing into the sterotype.The angry black women.I can see how it can be taken the wrong way.It could have been worded differently but I still think people would have had a problem with what was said.Others in the media go on to say that this is who our children have as role models.I have to disagree with that statement.No he is not a role model for our children and he has even said so his self.Everytime a rapper or someone says something in the public they go in on them saying think about what you say because you are a role model.I think that word is thrown around to lightly.Of course children see more than they should but as the parent you should limit what your child sees.Entertainers shouldn't raise your children.Tv should not raise your children.When I was growing up I was not allowed to sit in front of the tv all day long and listen to whatever I wanted to.I was in high school before my mother started to let us listen to some stuff.At the time I didn't understand but I do now.You have to open your children up to things.Let them experience different things so they won't have to look for the rapper to be their role model.I agree with what he said about us being messed up.News flash people we are messed up and we need a lot of work.How can we go into a healthy relationship if we have no idea what that is? It is a lot of people out here that has never been around a healthy black relationship.We put the wrong things on the top of our list of priorities.we are so worried about looking good and showing off that we forget what really matters.But once again that goes back to a stable home growing up.I understand that a lot of us didn't grow up in the best of homes but that is not an excuse to act a damn fool.Degrading our black women?I think he could have used other words to get his point across but where were these people when shows like Basketball Wives premired on tv?That show didn't make black women look good at all.If you had never been around a black woman before you would think we are all are catty, backstabbing and all about money.That set us back a couple of steps.That show was produced by a black woman.Did someone say anything to her about how these women were made to look?No.It is time for people to stop blaming others for the problems they see and start doing something about it.Slim Thug simply stated his feelings from his experiences so how is that wrong? So entertainers can't speak from their experiences or speak their opinions on things.Don't single out one person and make them look like the bad guy when others degrade us everyday.Where are you all then?All this time was spent on radio stations and tv shows talking about this when it is so much more that could have been discussed.What about all these shootings involving children and innocent people?Are we going to get more police help on the street?We could do alot better than we are.But it is the very people that is complaining and commenting that is not going to do anything.You do your part in uplifting the people and not worry about what the next man is doing.If it is so bad than he will have to pay for that later.We take the wrong things and blow them up into something bigger than they are.Find a real cause to get behind and support.
Peace and Love!

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

All Natural

Two summers ago I made the decision to start wearing my hair natural.It was a little harder than I expected so I relaxed my hair.But after thinking about it I decided to give it another try.It has been eight months since I last relaxed my hair.It is not as hard I thought.Yes I have my moments when I think to myself I should get a relaxer.It doesn't happen as often as it use to.When I first started this journey I used every product I thought would help me keep this hair under some type of control.Now that I have figured out what works I don't have as many problems.It has taken some time to get use to but I love it.I still go and let Tamron blow dry it straight but not as often as I use to.Now that I have more natural hair than relaxed I am able to try more natural styles.Once I hit the one year mark I am going to cut all the remaining relaxed.I was asked one day I would I ever want to wear my natural hair.I told her because I think natural hair is beautiful and I wanted to stop putting so many chemicals in my hair.She said I understand why you would want to stop using so many chemicals but natural hair is not beautiful.I was so curious as to why she felt this way.Her explanation was that it looked unprofessional for a work setting and it looked nasty.Now I have worked with women who have natural hair and most of the time it looks better than the relaxed hair.Yes I have seen natural hair that wasn't very well kept but you can not say all natural hair looks nasty.Now I am full debate mode.I was so surprised that this lady would say something like that.But now that I think about it I am not surprised at all.The very next day I had my hair twisted.She just looked but I knew that she wanted to say something so bad.Finally she asked what made me get my hair twisted.A part of it was because I wanted to prove a point.Natural hair is not nasty.It is beautiful in it's own way.But I think it is a problem when a lot of our black women don't like the look if their own hair.They look at you like you are crazy when you say you natural or going natural.We are all not meant to have silky straight hair down our backs.We would all look the same if we did.I think you should embrace that part of who you are.I think we put relaxers in our little girls hair way to early.If I am to ever have a daughter of my own I plan to wait until she is old enough to make that decision on her own.Teach our little girls to love that part of themselves.Maybe this is just me but I feel really librated about going natural.It is something that I had to grow to love about myself.I know that people are still going to feel the way they feel but don't look at me different because I made the best decision for me.Beauty comes in so many different forms and looks.Natural hair works for me and some my friends.
Peace and Love!