Wednesday, June 29, 2011

My Favorite Guy

I can not tell you the exact day we met or how we met.It seems like one day out of no where he appeared.When we are together or someone asks us how did you meet.We always give this unsure look saying we don't remember.All I know is that we have been a constant thing in each others life for the last six years.Yes six long years.But I would not change a thing about ever so twisted relationship.Not twisted in a bad way but twisted none the less.Over 99.5% of this relationship has been over the phone,email and most recently skype.He teaches in Korea.People always say you are crazy cause it is no way I would even try a long distance relationship.I am not going to sit here and tell you that it is easy because it is not.We do get mad at each other and stop speaking.We both have dated other people during this time.But at the end of the day we always come back to each other.We always figure it out.Well most of the time it is something silly to begin with.One day while I was having a conversation with one of my friends she asked me why I choose to be alone. I don't see it as being alone.Yes we are apart most of the time.We go to things alone or with a friend.Physically we are not together.But I am not alone.I know plenty of people in relationships with people that are here and are alone.Being together is more than being together physically.Our connection is more than anything we could ever have physically.Most people will never understand it and that is the way I like it.We balance each other out.Sometimes I can be bratty, difficult and annoying.During those times he never gets upset or annoyed.He always says the same thing well what do you want me to do Toya?When we are together I feel safe.No matter what we are doing or where we are going.We can finish what the other started like we were the one doing it all along.Over the years we have seen each other through some rough times.No matter what happens I can always count on him to help me through it.I have always been there with him.Will always be there for him.He makes my heart smile on days that I don't think it can.I am not the girl to talk about how I feel all the time.But I felt like I should let him know that he is my favorite guy even on his bad days.Everyday I learn something new about him.We always say that our connection has been strong since the first time we talked.I am not mushy or romantic with him.But you are my superman.I just want to say that you're my dreamer.Anything is possible with you.

Peace and Love!

Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Making A Connection

The last couple of months have been a test for me.Back in February I lost a really close friend and then in March I lose one of my aunts.While I know they were both sick I would also like to have them here with me.It has never been a time when I could get them or call just to see how they were. This has had me thinking a lot about my family and the relationships that I have with them. It really got me to thinking about the relationship I have with my siblings. When I say siblings I am not talking about my two older sister and twin brother.I am talking about the siblings I have from my father. Last year I reached out to my older brother and we have been getting to know each other.I know some people feel like I should just leave it alone and go ahead with my life. Yes I have lived my life with out having any relationship with them but that was not our decision. My father made decisions that were not good us or himself. We have had to deal with the fact that the choices my father made has had an effect on all of us.We were not given the option to know each other.Now I feel like we have can make that decision for ourselves.In my mind I would love for us to be one big happy family but I don't think that is going to happen. Reality is we may never have a close relationship with each other. I have learned that we have a lot of things in common. I have more nieces and nephews to get to know and love. One day I hope that all of my siblings will be able to be in one place as a family.
Peace and Love