Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Where Do We Stand?

Last month I wrote about my Favorite Guy.I have no idea where are going to go or what is going to happen between us sometimes.But it is not a day that goes by that I don't think about him and all the things we could have together.Sometimes I feel like we lose each other in our everyday life since we don't live in the same place.Lately I haven't been as happy as I could be with us.I felt like I needed more from him and I needed to know where we stand as of this moment.Where are we going to go from here? Are we going to continue to try and make a relationship happen or walk away as friends?I needed to know what his plan is and I needed to know now.You guys are seeing that I am sometimes impatient and a little bratty.So I decided to write him a email and put it all out on the table.Anyone that really knows me will tell you how hard that was for me to do.I am just not the emotional girl.I have a confession to make.I have been a bitch to him at times.I am sorry for that.I am sorry for not always being the best person I can be sometimes.It was all out in the open for him to know how I felt.I needed to get it out my system before I burst open.After I pressed the send button I wished I could take it back just in case he decided that it was not working anymore.But that is not the case.All I am going to say is that I am going to start planning my trip to visit within the next six months.No idea where are going to go yet or the exact date.But we are going to try to make this thing work.For once I am ready to pull my sleeves up and do all that I have to do to make it work.In the near future if that means a move I will be open to that.I might have even shed a tear while I talked to him about this earlier.Please don't think you can test my gangsta now lol.But all that is besides the point.Once I was talking to one of my really good friends and her mom gave us both a little advice.She said when you are 80 years old is that the person you want to see next to your hospital bed or next to you in your rocking chairs.If you don't see that person than you need to think about moving on.But if you do get ready to fight for it.It won't be easy to get there but at the end of the day it will be worth it.
Peace and Love!